butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
