if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
