I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
