You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
