you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
