After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
