she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
