I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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