I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I fill condoms, not promises.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
