maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
