He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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