You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
How external is "for external use only"?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
