I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
