he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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