Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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