i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
