I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My vagina is officially offended.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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