i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
