Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
