my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
