I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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