So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
