I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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