Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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