I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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