Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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