yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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