we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
