I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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