Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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