New invention idea: vibrating tampons
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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