he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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