Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
handjob tips. give me some.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
