I want to stick my p in your. b.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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