It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
