garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
