I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
What drink are we having for lunch?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
