Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
