I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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