If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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