yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
