Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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