I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
