There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
