dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
