Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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