shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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