need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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