If that was your dad, he is hot
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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