I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
