I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
